A really dear friend of mine pushed me to write all of this down. What is "this" ? I thought about it for a while before i began to write because I am a creative who has been just creating but not showing it to the world. So now is the time- "This" is my project- an apartment and furniture built before the soviet times or during and trying to create my own world and story upon the stories they tell.

I am a designer- so bare in mind, i do not know anything about building or renovating. My uncles wife asked a really legitimate question" What did you do your degree in- fashion or building?"- everything i have done and will do may or may not be wrong but i will still try and if i fail, i will ask someone who knows better and try again.

The idea to start renovating this apartment came after i got hit in the face with reality. To understand that i need to tell the whole story.

Four years ago my bestest friend, my grandmother, passed away. She always encouraged me to chase my dreams. I was at my last year of my degree in Denmark. But the way we grieve is different. So the next couple of years were hard. I went to see a psychologist, got into yoga and tried to heal myself in many ways. At one point i realized that fashion makes me happy and moved to England. But when i graduated, things got tricy. People and their dark sides started to shine through everything, so my plans blew up into the sky. So I made new plans. I decided that when I move back to Estonia I will renovate my apartment which had been untouched for the last 4 years,

Baring in mind that after my grandmothers passing, i hadn't been in that apartment. And the reason being- i was petrified. Petrified of the emotions that broke me before.

The first time after 4 years- when i waked in there, i couldn't stay there when it got dark and i was shaking the whole time. It was even harder because i was battling with anxiety and panic attacks. Keeping myself together was one of the hardest things I had done for a while.

By time everything got better and everything started moving along and changing. Soon the apartment i remembered from my childhood was changing. The stories of that apartment were changing and becoming my own It has come a far way since i started and I have as well. It is my safe place with the calmest energy.

I'll add some photos of how it was and what i have done so far.

I started out with emptying the apartment from the old furniture that i didn't need, the spices, everything old and not useful. That took a good week, because how can you throw away 90 years of someones life with no thought about it. I went through everything bit by bit. Packed half the things into boxes, others to the bin. When that was done, then came the next step- getting the furniture out of the room and starting to demolish the old built in cupboard and removing the old tapestry. And also the floors had a cardboard cover over them nailed into the wooden floor and poured over with soviet paint, which i had to remove to get the beautiful wooden floors free.

As some of you know- the paint at that time was like an indestructable armour. A tricky bit.

                                      

This was one of the most time-consuming things i did. But when all the tapestry was off we realised that the wiring was not in the walls and it was so old, that we had to drill into the concrete walls to make a ditch for the wiring and also all the light switches. Oh there was dust everywhere.Also the concrete around the windos had to be taken off because the old windows were double windows and way wider than the new ones. So basically i had to build new walls around the windows and start plastering the walls, ceiling and also the oven. (the oven i took into pieces and fixed it with clay and rocks so it would do its job properly).

Oh, and the toilet. Oh that toilet. That apartment has a dry toilet. What does that mean? Id toesn't have any plumbing. No water, no sewerage system. So the main thing me and my dad are working on right now is the toilet. it is more his project because i really do not want to flood the apartment. So i'll focus on anything else and i'll make a whole post on that as well.

The toilet was really small and it didn't have a shower room. So i had to take down the whole wall and build a new wall further away. Which was a fun thing- smashing things, who doens't ike that?

After all the wiring and the plastering was done, there was alot of sanding that needed to be done. Also the walls around the windows and getting everything staright and ready for the base coat. When i finally managed to get two rooms ready for the base coat, i was so happy and excited to start painting. Little did i know, that the soviet times will come through the paints. It took me 10 layers of white paint to get the walls and ceiling white because they were brownish-orange. It took me two weeks to paint it all. My enthusiasm about painting faded quickly.

But when it came to painting two walls and the oven with turquoise and black oven paint, i got so excited- FINALLY, finally i can see some results on how everything will start coming together. All the details and other bits just seemed to start making it real and almost ready. This is where i am now then.

It has been a long road but it is not over yet. There are alot of things to do, starting with sanding the floors, lamp wiring, sockets, light switches, the whole toilet and kitchen(which i will build myself as well) and also the third room (my styudio)  and the hallway. I will keep everyone posted and will make a few posts about the renovated furniture and things i have purcahsed to make it all come together. If you would like me to focus on any certain subjects, let me know and i'll do that.

Next post: lights and wiring :)

Til' then.

xo your tiny badass Liisu.